Currently Playing: Brett Dennen - Ain’t No Reason.
You must listen to this song. At the very least, have a look at the lyrics. The words ring very true.
"…The politicians lie and I am not fooled.
You don’t need no reason or a three piece suit to argue the truth…"
Some
time ago, a good friend of mine asked me to reconsider my decision to
turn my head away from politics altogether. We used to joke about how
we were going to save the world one day, and have long talks about
certain issues that constantly plagued our headlines. The operative word
here is used to. I can’t say what exactly happened, but the drive and fervour I once so determinedly had has long dissipated since then.
The American Chief Justice Earl Warren once said:
“I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people’s
accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man’s failures.”
Isn’t
that the ever-loving truth? It’s funny the good judge should say that,
because that’s exactly what I do once I lay my hands on the day’s
paper, barring should it be the day after the Malaysian football team
play. On those days, I’d rather take on the headlines.
On a serious note however, I have grown frustrated to the point that
I can’t bring myself to care anymore. That feeling of helplessness, of
utter powerlessness to do something real (as Awin says) is too
unbearable to face. You sit there and read, grit your teeth, smack your
head, accidentally let slip a profanity at the idiocy of individuals
who are supposed to be leading rather than mislead, and pretty soon the
indignant outrage becomes so entrenched within that reading/watching
the news eventually morphs into the day’s depressing
session that we’re going to have to get through before heading back to
daily routine. Updating my awareness on global issues has never been a pleasant experience. It’s an uphill struggle to find hope anywhere except through prayers.
I’m not going to be that man on the street who throws up my hands, point fingers and jeer at the leaders who fail so miserably at their jobs, be it because of their lack of qualifications, their ill-placed priority on placing their political party first before the people or because of their blatant greed and arrogance. It isn’t worth it because I’ve been there, done that, and still nothing happens. There’s no point if what I do isn’t going to bring any change.
Then do something that will bring change, you might say. Why shy away from the very thing that could help make a difference?
There are many reasons, the chief of which is that I am frightened.
I am afraid that once I am in the system, I won’t be able to get out. I am afraid that I might have to sacrifice my ideals for the sake of something greater, because I might lose myself in the process. I am afraid that the very corruption in the system that I intend on battling will instead consume me whole. In order to be in the game, you’re going to have to play the game, and the game can get very dirty. Above all, I am afraid that should I be trusted enough with a position to serve the people, I will not be worthy of it. What politicians today seem to have forgotten is that they have a responsibility that bears a heavy, heavy weight. It’s daunting, perilous even. Not only do they have to answer to the people who have placed their belief in them, but they are also accountable in the Afterlife before God. I doubt that I have the great level of self-sacrifice that is required which places the welfare of the public before my own individual self. It is this that I fear most - that I will fail the people. If that were to happen, I would hold myself in more contempt than anyone else. I would have no self-regard whatsoever, and any form of respect I may have had for myself would be lost altogether. Shame would be all I’d be left with. How am I to answer before God? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
That’s why I am trying to find another way, another method, another medium to start my own mini-revolution in effecting change. I’m sure there’s another way I can contribute without becoming entangled in what I fear would be self-destructive instead. There are only a certain slew of people who are qualified to do the job. The friend I mentioned earlier; he is one of them. He has led his life that way - self-sacrificial and sincere in his social work for handicapped children and orphans. That’s already a trait that shows great promise. I just can’t say the same for myself.
I have commitment issues, to begin with. I’m best at starting work but my following up falls flat. I’m also hopelessly impatient. When I exert myself in something, I expect to see results, pronto. It’s a foolish thing. None of past revolutionists who first began to expound their ideas had lived long enough to see how far their theories went. This very same impatience would also have me do away with bureaucracy or any form of red tape which in my restlessness I would only see as hampering fast implementations for a reformed system. I don’t like being held back for long - I get easily irritated.
But I digress.
The point that I want to drive home however is this:
When the time comes, Insya Allah, I will have the willto rise to the occasion and make a difference in my own little way. It might be leaning more towards the humanitarian rather than the political, but change is change.
For the voices who will speak out for us, The Silent Majority, give us hope.
I wish you strength. =)
Enough said here.
