I was mulling over the words of my last entry, and comparing how I was some years back and how I am now.
My, how spirited I once was. So full of ideas. I felt like I could be a dynamic force, all by myself. Haha.
I’m reminded of a movie I saw some time back about a 21-year-old German woman who was involved in a non-violent resistance movement in Nazi Germany called Die Weiße Rose (The White Rose), along with her brother and his friends. They were very vocal in their opposition of the Third Reich by secretly distributing anti-Nazi political resistance leaflets to as many Germans as possible, calling for an end to the barbarous atrocity that was being committed against humanity in the name of a Greater Germany. In the end, three members of the movement were found guilty and executed. This movie chronicles the final days of Sophie before she meets her end.
I dragged my mother to watch Sophie Scholl: Die letzen Tage (The Final Days) with me once I read about it. It being her first time to set foot in a cinema in decades, I decided that this movie would be the best choice, as my mother herself was once actively involved in an underground movement during her student days. The movement has since been been declared legitimate, but that doesn’t take away my fascination that my mum of all people was once part of a shady organisation, taking risks, dodging authorities (although of course, this was pre-AUKU days) and fighting for what she believed in. Cool kan? Hehe. I think so too.
The film is a must-watch, you must see it to appreciate the bravery that people have to truly stand up and be heard. The resilience portrayed by the main actress in the face of capital punishment was believable. You must understand, in Nazi Germany they used to carry out these punishments by beheading the prisoners face-up. My favourite line would have to be: "No matter what verdict my brother gets, mine should not be more lenient." I believe that it becomes less difficult when there’s a cause to fight for.
A chilling part of the story came at the end. One of the prisoner’s last words before the blade came down to decapitate his head were "Es lebe die Freiheit!".
"Long live Freedom." This is because it reminded me of the last finished poem I wrote a couple of years back. I haven’t written in the longest time; personally I think I’ve lost any touch I might have had once. It doesn’t matter; here’s the poem anyway.
A Rebel’s End
Today I stand, condemned.
Dawn is breaking into its soft glow,
Evanescence cascading through the meadows,
Irony of beauty intertwined with sorrow,
This day shall end with no tomorrow.
Today I stand, condemned.
The morning mist hangs lazily in the air,
The cool crystal dew seeps through my feet (so bare),
My heart shall not break and my will shall not tear,
Though my end shall take place on a day so fair.
Today I stand, condemned.
Rusty chains bind my hands and feet as I wait,
People are gathering, crowds jeering with hate,
They stamp and spit, at my downfall they celebrate,
I stand, though slightly chilled, but resolved in my fate.
Today I stand, condemned.
Quietly I am led as the drums of death beat,
My white flowing dress, pull and scrape at my feet,
Mud-spattered, bruised, abused, forcing retreat,
Did they think I would falter? I shall not cry defeat!
Today I stand, condemned.
As I now step onto the wooden stage, I cannot deny,
How I mourn for my people, tricked by deception and lies,
And now my family weep, and only birds sing their cry,
Nay, Mama! Nay, Papa! For I shall not even sigh!
Today, I stand condemned.
The rope swings mockingly, swaying gently to and fro,
I challenge (fiercely) its presence, existence, as I would with a foe,
Now above the trapdoor, I watch the people below,
Children’s faces are being covered, ever hurriedly so.
Today, I stand condemned.
There is hushed silence now, and I have grown hard and numb,
So this is the price to pay, the whole hefty sum,
(I refuse to obey lies, I refuse to conform!)
The noose gently placed, tightened…a rebel’s end shall now come,
As the trapdoor is finally released,
I…
Cry…
Freedom!
Today I am condemned.
Today I have been hanged.
30th September 2005
Written in class: Islamic Worldview lecture (tak berkah ilmu, but in my defence, I was paying attention! Tanya Aufa.)
It isn’t the best, but boy did I believe in the concept of martyrdom through rebellion, heart and soul.
Enough said here.
