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So the story goes.

Posted by: lubnaaa | October 13, 2006 |

Currently Playing: Something For Kate-Cigarettes and Suitcases.

I instinctively picked up the phone this morning and texted the first person that came to mind.

"Omg I am in dire need of a conversation that does not revolve around guys, girls, dating, shopping, gossip…there’s only so much I can handle.."

The reply came:

"So start talking, u know I don’t talk about that stuff..The only time we talk about shoes is when we mock each other’s..hehe.."

Then came the laugh. This is why no matter how seldom I see her around campus, or how we accuse each other of stalking when we do meet, or how we say so little during our dates, she just gets it.

Estrogen overload is just not my scene, and when there are no guys on site for a break from the general female crowd (we have our moments), she always comes along to play saviour.

Thanks for not being a girlfriend today. I just needed a mate to hang with. Exchange healthy talk. Reactivate some of my brain cells. Philosophy, psychology…always gets to us.

I owe you, girl.

—————

So tonight was nice. Lutfi’s home for the weekend. SACE finals coming up. Had a talk with Ummi about women’s rights in Islam over the frying kuali. Jokes from the younger kids. Cleared up the kitchen with everyone afterwards.

Tonight was nice.

Tonight also called for the cue where I bang my head in sheer embarassment.

Thank God it had no chance to manifest into something more serious, or it would have been a definite disaster.

Adalah.

—————-

Murni once called me a cynic.

Yani reinforced that statement by pointing out that she could be telling me the most heartbreaking love story that transcends the boundaries of all time, and I’d muster a response that would unconvincingly amount to a passive "Uh…yeah."

I do beg your pardon, but there’s a significant difference between a cynic and a romantic cynic. I fall under the latter category, the definition of which differs with each individual. I’ll reveal my interpretation of this self-coined term in a later entry.

I have a reputation for having a heart of steel when it comes to the dreaded "L" word–a misconception I’d very much like to correct. Au contraire, I do believe in Love. I believe in its existence, its magic, the heavenly feeling it evokes. I suppose the distinction that can be drawn between my belief and the belief of others is that mine stops where perception stops. I believe in the idea of Love; there is no doubt the theory of Love is one that’s very appealing.

Unfortunately, its people I don’t believe in. I have seen enough cases where it isn’t that Love fails, but rather it’s a failure of people when they subject Love to their own whims and fancies and fiddle with it as though it were a toy.

I suppose most would call me foolish to be scarred by other people’s experiences rather than my own, and most would say I cannot declare outrightly that I have earned the right to say what Love is until I go through it all the way. In fact, most would label me a coward for even daring to declare such a dastardly statement without even daring to experience it for myself.

Who made up that rule anyway?

Even if Love cannot be judged hypothetically, then what of familial love, or love for the Almighty? How come they don’t count?

That’s different, they counter.

Ah, I never did like to conform anyway.

And yet, every now and then, I find pictures like this and I can’t help but smile. For a brief instant, a split second, a passing moment…I find myself believing in that aspect of Love.

                            Meyou1

Its the simplicity of it all.

Passenger Seat by Death Cab For Cutie

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"do they collide?"
I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn’t matter.

When you feel embarrassed then i’ll be your pride
When you need directions then i’ll be the guide
For all time.
For all time.

So. Who would you like to be in the driver’s seat?

Enough said here.

under: Uncategorized

Responses -

If you’re a cynic, then what am I?

Adoi…

But I do feel you insofar as love is concerned.

From my rather brief yet colourful experience, love is a strange and funny thing. It’s a fun thing. And yes, many times it’s the failure of people that screw things up.

But that’s how the way this thing works. We are all stumbling in the dark basement hoping to God that we will trip over a light switch.

No amount of cool, calm calculation will prepare you for the final blow. It might throw you off balance. You might get crazy from tolerating his nonsense(i know i did), but have heart dear, you’ll get back to your senses.

All you need to do is…
Dump the usless guy’s ass.
=)

As usual, Elyna’s right.

But as much as i do agree that there’s strong inclination towards love being reduced do a toy to be played with, I must tell you that you should not shut yourself from it altogether.

I know you’re enjoying familial love and love for the Almighty, so spare some for the one that He had fated you with.

If you don’t, I could only pray for you in handling the shock of your life.

p.s. thank you for the heartwarming picture, as always.

Love. Hmmm, do you want me to sing Nat King Cole? Lol.

Love is a letter short of glove. Sometimes it fits, sometimes it doesn’t.

Some people take several times to finally find one which fits. Along the way hurt because, perhaps, it was too tight. Or maybe because it was too loose, therefore, one can’t help but to feel uncomfortable.

But for some, my friend, they go to the hardware store (or anywhere that sells gloves) prepared, knowing which size fits the best. And the glove, perhaps, will fit for the rest of living years.

Or am I just not making sense? Lol.

Addendum:
This is an additional note because some dude gave me a call after reading this entry because he felt insulted that I called some chick to escape the general female crowd. :p

It seems I should make a declaration here, as not to offend the guys who may have been offended at my overlooking them:

No, I didn’t forget ya’ll. It was Friday prayers at that time, aight? You guys still matter to me, esp when I’m not feeling particularly girly or in my element. Whatever.

To that particular dude, hope you’re happy now. ;)

Ely:
You of all people know how much it hurts me when the people I care about gets hurt. Its almost as if I’m the one hurting myself…so much so I feel like I’M the one going through the motions of a heartbreak.

It makes me livid, and then I get all overprotective of those who matter, to the point where I just don’t trust anymore. If friends can hurt, I can hurt too. And if friends hurting are already too much for me to handle, then I don’t think I’m made for this kinda thing kot. Haha.

Aisya:
Oh-ho. Dudette, we already talk/argue a lot on this enough that I don’t even have to make anything public here. Semua pun dah settle…until the next time you bring it up. Which you usually do. And I’ll be ready with my counter-arguments when that time comes.

Azlan:
“Love is a letter short of Glove.” Kinda like Aiman’s “Anger is a letter short of Danger”, no? Lol.

You made sense, Azlan, you did. And I liked the analogy. Its just that there’s a difference between people who are willing to try that glove on, and those who aren’t, and those who want to but are too afraid, and those who can’t be bothered to wear gloves in the first place.

Kan?

Great minds think alike, I suppose. Lol! True, what you said. I guess, at the end of the day, it comes down to that, ain’t it? Hehehe. I just noticed the “Addictions” on the side of this page. Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen.. Yeah man! Oh and Dishwalla too. Brilliant. Hehe.

told u this, telling u again. i love that pic. old folks. was in love. still in love. true definition of love.

stop.i know i will be accused of saying so because i am in love. haha. gotcha! actually i’m just getting used to it.. =D eid mubarak everyone

Azlan:
Dude, that Addiction list has been there for ages. I have a couple of other songs to add to it, but I can’t be bothered to. Too much hassle, sebab asik bertukar. Haha.

Ryhn:
I know babes. ;)

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