organised chaos

Currently Playing: Death Cab For Cutie-Brothers On A Hotel Bed.

Well.

It’s the holidays, and I’m stressed out.

This isn’t the usual cry of boredom I’m accustomed to hearing from the masses once vacation strikes. Granted, there’s a mighty risk of one being rendered brain-dead by the hazards of doing nothing all day.

But thank God, that isn’t my problem.

I’m hit by a case of anxiety and restlessness because there’s a lot of work to do and I don’t know where to begin. Most of the time, I don’t want to begin. In fact, I’d rather be out there with everyone else, bemoaning my state of idleness.

Its a different case of mood swing this time around.

Sometimes I’d be all pumped up to get sorted out and started, and that’d be when other obligations come a-calling. They come in the form of unnegotiable orders sent down by those we young, filial children of the East call parents. I’d be tied down with carrying out whatever it is I’m to do, and by the time I’m done, the whole moment of motivation is lost. Other times, I’d be completely unemployed but the urge to do anything just doesn’t come.

So. What do I do?

I was so frustrated with myself and my incompetence yesterday that I vented it in the most unconventional (at least in my case) way possible:

I made this:

Trust me, there has never been a fluffier creamed mixture left in the oven. I practically battered the…er, batter.   

Which just goes to show how serious my frustration is, since I’m never one to hang around in the kitchen for long. It’s not "ma thang."

How it tasted, I will never know because I was told to bring it to a family get-together at my aunt’s, to my mortification.

And they all finished it. I swear. They actually finished it. Siap bagi compliments to the chef lagi tu. Haha. Z, you must be rolling by now.

So where does that leave me?

Well, I’m still frustrated.

Any ideas on how to fix this, anyone?

Enough said here.