Not really, no. But Rationality is a hindrance to Spontaneity, and as alright as today was, I suddenly felt like going home. I just felt…well, sad.
I know it was selfish, but I rang home to try out my luck, as thin as the chance of it may have been. Surprisingly enough, I was whisked away half an hour later and caught Nanny McPhee with Lutfi and Widad in the evening. If you would have told me that my day would end with me sitting here in my comfort zone when I woke up this morning, I wouldn’t have believed you. But this is one Chance card I am using, and which I won’t pull out again in a long while. As down as I was, I can usually deal with my issues alone.
As for the movie, I only have this to say: I so want that baby for my birthday. The angel-faced darling who plays Agatha (Aggy) is absolutely delicious. I was non-stop gushing every time she came on-screen. The movie is far from being an epic, which I usually take to, but I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece anyway. I only needed a light show, and light as it was, I enjoyed it thoroughly, predictability and all. It was lovable, and through this movie, I uncovered another one of my fantasies: to run wildly and freely in the English countryside.
I know I’ve been going on about Strays Don’t Sleep for a long time now, but I believe Widaad has introduced me to a band which has become a definite favourite. "For Blue Skies" remains their best song yet, but "Cars and History" along with "Night Is Still" are fast becoming regulars.
"Cold war is gone, cold war is over dear…"
Strays Don’t Sleep’s music have been described as: a kind of cinematic blend between Sinatra, Roxy Music and Curtis Mayfield through the lens of ambient urban folk music. All traffic lights and rain, glowing windows from late night high rises and sparse noise. It’s a kind of sublime love letter to loneliness, hope and hopelessness. Moods so sharp they’re epic. Words so personal they’re universal.
Perfect suit for the mood swinging enigma that is yours truly.
I’m kidding.
I know I’ve been described as the deep, poetic, angsty, Peyton-like (that came from OTH fan Widaad) type of character, but here, I must differ. I suppose I don’t want my character to become a pretentious put-on, because it happens. The more people tell you what they think of who you are, and you feel comfortable with it, the more of an image you have of yourself, and the more you want to preserve that image, and the more you build on it, and end up losing more and more of yourself…which is funny, because at the beginning you started off with yourself. I believe it was Aisya who once said "sometimes its so difficult to be yourself." I agree.
I suppose it is a little unnerving at times, to have to actually make an attempt to be yourself. I know it should come naturally, but how are we to know that we’re being ourself in the truest sense of the word, as opposed to being comfortable behind the mask? Sometimes, when we’ve had the mask on for so long, we can’t take it off anymore. We’ve settled in it. What a thought for today.
I don’t know, I’m rambling again. But I am sincere when I say that I can be what you may think I have no association with.
Which is why I am getting a bloody headache from thinking on what to write for the articles I’ve been assigned to do. Writer’s block yet again.
…..
I give up. Tulis jelah.
Enough said here.
i’ve heard soooo many things about u. good ones so don’t worry *laughs*
