2 reasons for above title:
1. A line from the current song I’m listening to-Studying Stones by Ani Difranco. (Najia, hang kena dengar lagu Self-Evident by her, it’s damn good.)
2. Naturally, I’m wearing a hat. Widad’s latest addition to our collection. I like its style, and the fact that its big enough to jam all my stubborn locks in.
So this is the famed hat. 
Anyway, I have to record this down-I am so freakin screwed for Contract tomorrow. I was down with fever this entire day, and though I had some energy to look through my messages, that eventually rendered me out cold til 6pm, and by that time, it was kitchen duty, and onwards, the night rituals. Then we sent Lutfi off. By the time we got back, it was midnight. And I’m still down with this cold!
My fault, really. Couldn’t be bothered to go to the doctor. That requires me to move, shift position, abandon the warmth of my bed and the satisfaction of seeing tissues all over (just to justify that I wasn’t kidding myself into making excuses why I wasn’t studying for tomorrow’s test.)
And so now I’m up, and will be up for the rest of the night. The last paper’s result was below my expectations, so I’m really going to have to make it up for this one…and yet…this splitting headache simply won’t go away. If I take a pill, I will fall asleep.
Performed Tarawikh at Granmama’s house tonight. One of my favourite places; spent my baby years there. There’s this lingering smell that after 3 decades, still refuses to go away. And then, the smell of my grandmother…distinguishable, distinctive, different from everyone. She made me cry tonight. I hate it when grandmothers talk of death and hoping to see us accomplish this or that before they move on to the next world. It’s something you acknowledge and accept, of course, but does that make things any easier? I guess I was surprised that I suddenly lost control like that. She was too, I could tell from her expression. No one else saw.
Just needed to get that off my chest.
Insya Allah, Baba, you will see the day I deliver my promise to you.
Enough said here.
