I have had a change of mind…or perhaps more aptly put, a change of heart. I’m feeling my way back to the person I believe I once was. Partly because of what Khairie had once told me some time ago, partly because of the relatively long talk I had with Abang Shukor after lunch a few days back, partly because of World Stealing Day, and mostly really came from somewhere within.
It becomes more difficult every single day to not just simply conform to the wayward ways of today’s society. It becomes increasingly hard to stay true to who you are, stick to your guns, keep a tight grasp of your values, uphold your principles, protect your self-worth and dignity, and to not compromise the very essence of your being.
Would you like to know the hardest part of living in today’s world?
To Hope.
Do you know how many people out there underestimate the great power of Hope? It’s because the very foundation of Hope is lacking…and that is Faith.
Hope is diaphanous, translucent, filmy, lacking in substance, most cynics would scornfully say. It is a mere illusion.
I respond, is that so?
I wonder, do they realise what a state of real misery this world would be without Hope? Misery beyond healing? Do they realise just how many people stay alive on Hope alone? Do they realise how many people put their very ambitions and dreams on Hope? Mankind DEPEND on Hope. Without it, everyone would give in, give up and despair, haunted by pain and grief.
Hope is the most concrete of all human emotions. It was created for a reason. The one good thing from Pandora’s Box. The spirit of humanity would be lost otherwise.
Call me an idealist, but I am what I am. I realise what a screwed up world we live in; don’t mistake me as someone who looks at life through rose-tinted glasses. I don’t. But that’s the most idiotic excuse to not hang on to the faith that good indeed exists.
About World Stealing Day…a day when you tell your friends what exactly it is you’d like to steal from them, I joined in the fun.
The replies I got back were rather interesting, to say the least. Lets see:
Brains. Phone. Set of teeth, collection of CDs and Naufal (who btw Adora dearest, you are free to have). Attractiveness(?). Philosophyness and Luqman. Passion for everything serious. Honesty, compassion, kindness, bravery, intellectual thinking. Law report English (lol, Noi), beauty (?), brains, life, identity (which worried me). And finally…sense of life, innocence, loyalty to the FC of my choice (hell yeah) and to my principles, and passion towards the serious issues in the Muslim world.
How much of all this do I believe is true? Coming from the heart, I’m not even half as good as the people above seem to think I am. But to know that I am making that impression, at least a little, has comforted me a great deal. It has shown me what I needed to know.
It has kept me from making one of the worst decisions in my entire life.
I won’t be making that change…and I’m finally returning.
Back to believing again.
I shall continue writing. =)
Enough said here.
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