Obviously, I’m still alive. Death Monday came and went, and now I’m looking at a brief interval before the next barrage of workload comes my way. As for now, ah…bliss.
So today began strangely. After staying up last night to finish studying Contracts, made my way back to Gombak at 6am. Death Monday it might have been, but I came across the most fantastic, breathtaking view. The sky was as dark as night still, but just a little ahead (on the highway road), glimpsing over the faraway hills was this big rip in the sky. It was magnificent, I tell you. It’s like seeing shock blue eyes under a mass of dark hair: completely unexpected. A bright-as-day scar across the shades of dark. I loved it…and had to wonder whether it was a sign from the above that it was going to be a good day.
It was.
3 out of my 4 papers were alright, although I’m still suffering from the aftershock of Torts at the moment. I think I did miserably on that paper, and will now stop from continuing on this little depression chatter or I might burst into tears right here in the library. It sucked, big time. Stupid gamble I took. Long story, won’t elaborate here.
I have something to share. Why are people so freakin superficial? What’s the story, you ask? Ok, I’ll be frank. My closest friends on Friendster would have been able to notice that mostly my DP are pictures that represent my personality. Be it strong political images, be it my music flavours or an artwork that represents my emotions, basically I try to avoid using self-portraits as the primary photo as much as I can, for the simple reason that I’d like to find people who would be able to see who I am and what I am, rather than what I look like. Looks can be decieving, and in my case, photos too.
Cutting a long story short, I put up one photo of myself just for laughs, because its probably the only ‘lucky’ photo of myself I’ll ever have, and what do I get in response? A horde of messages from guys who want to get to know me better. Bullshit. I’m serious, my message box has been filling up rapidly from guys all eager to know who I am…and I have to ask, on what basis? On what grounds? Why?
Simple answer: they’re under this illusion that I’m this sweet young thing, naive and innocent and worth a try because I probably look easy. No, I’m not overreacting. You should have a look at some of these messages. My God. And I’m wondering…where were these guys when I had pictures of Palestinian children screaming, pictures of Greek Mythology, pictures that I find inspiring? What? Am I a girl covered with too many issues for them? Am I too serious? Am I so deep they’d fear they’d drown in all the boredom when I bring up the philosophy that is my life? I’m even wondering whether they can actually hold their own in a conversation.
I don’t know where I’m going with this rant, but I’d like to end it quick. Library’s closing anyway. When I wrote that I’d like to meet extraordinary people, I meant it. I mean what I write, I mean what I do. That’s who I am. If people think they can ‘get wit me’ because I’m just ‘oh-so-fragile’, they’ve really have got another thing coming. Keep those messages rolling in, I need my share of amusement. I’ll read, do a double-take, snort and have a good laugh before gladly bidding a good riddance to shallow jerks who should look elsewhere if they’re thinking of finding ‘the girl’. Its always the case, isn’t it? Finding ‘the one’. I’d be fine with that if they could show me they’ve actually become a proper person before going on their desperate explorations.
My advice? Find yourself first. Develop hobbies. Have a passion. Be honest.
Grow up.
Enough said here.
